To live your best life, you must generate clarity. This means knowing, at your core, what is most important to you. It’s about realizing the foundational things that characterize who you want to be. For me, I want to be the best father and husband I can possibly be.
When people talk to me about clarity, they often mention it in reference to their career. They often know, in general, what’s fulfilling to them, but they tend to struggle with self-doubt – “it would be really awesome to have that career, but I’m not cut out for it.”
This was me and my experience. I was a software developer, and the idea of becoming a speaker and a coach was completely outside of my area of expertise. I didn’t believe I could do it — until I read a book called “The Power of Neuroplasticity.” This book taught me the science behind how our brains change, and I realized that, although I was very analytical, I could become articulate and master the art of speaking.
Knowing that my brain can physically change gave me great confidence. As I had more confidence, I dove into this career, and as I acted, I gained my competence. The more competence I got, the more confidence I got.
If you’re struggling to know what you want to do or who you want to be, ask yourself this: If you can wave a magic wand and you could forget all of the constraints, what is it that you would actually do in life? Who would you be? Don’t let a lack of confidence in your abilities keep you from doing this- because your brain is capable of greatness!
-Coach Steve Arnold
Hey, what’s up guys, Steve Arnold here with Best Life Global, and today I want to talk to you about generating clarity.
Now I did a workshop back in December and it was interesting because me actually doing that workshop helps to give me a ton of clarity myself. I talked about your core and what was really, really, really important to you, and I started to realize a few things, and these are foundational things like what did I really want to be, and I realized that really the most really important things for me were to be the best father I could be to my two young children and the best husband that I could possibly be.
So keeping those priorities at the forefront of my mind are really important. And me just getting clear on those. Like I guess I kinda knew it, knew they were important to me but actually going through the exercise of putting them on paper and I actually put an alarm in my phone to remind me every day that that’s what’s really important to me. It’s helped me out a lot. Not only from me personally putting in more effort on those fronts, but me feeling more foundation, like security in knowing that all these other business endeavors, everything else that I’m out there doing when I’m going outside of my comfort zone and I’m trying and I’m failing. I’ve got them here for me. And getting clear on that and getting clear on how I wanted to act in my behaviors around that were really important.
The second thing that a lot of people want to know about in terms of clarity it’s when they think about career. What I found is that most people, when they start thinking about career change, maybe trying to find something that’s more fulfilling to them, they have no trouble coming up with ideas of things that they would like to do, but they fall down when it comes to the self-doubt. They’re like, oh well, I think that would be really awesome but I’m not this, or I’m not that.
For me, I’ve been a software engineer most of my career. The idea of me becoming a trainer, presenter, public speaker and a coach was like way outside of my realm of knowledge and experience and confidence, frankly. I just didn’t really believe that that’s something that I could do. And for me, the specific change was I read a book called “The Power of Neuroplasticity,” and I learned the science behind how our brains actually change, how they physically change as we grow, so just because I was more on the analytical side of things, I could become more on the I guess articulate side of things which is speaking, and I’ve never really felt that I was great at that.
But once I learned that my brain can physically change and make me better at that, that gave me a lot of confidence. And then from there actually going forth and doing it, of course, it’s like a loop. As I become more competent at it, and because I’m practicing it I become more confident at it. So what I actually do when I’m talking to people about clarity in terms of career, it’s like if you can wave your magic wand and you could just forget all of the constraints, what is it that you would actually want to do? Like, who is that person that you would want to be? And then they come up with ideas and they stop thinking about its constraints and they get a lot more clear.
Let’s make a plan to do that for you, like how are we going to get you to that point? And it’s really a belief thing first of all, and then practice and committing yourself to doing it.
And the reason why this is awesome is because the clarity on what it is they want to achieve or who it is they want to be isn’t really the part that is going to make them happy. It’s going to be the journey to get there that’s ultimately going to be more fulfilling for them. So as soon as they get clear on their direction, day one they’re happier because they’re more fulfilled on that journey, learning about things that you know are going to get you to where you want to be, that’s fulfilling. And taking action on things that you know will help to improve yourself and to grow, that’s fulfilling.
So that’s how I generally approach clarity with people. And it tends to really help them out a lot.
So if you’re thinking about becoming somebody different or taking on new challenges but you’re not quite sure about it, make sure that you’re not just thinking you don’t want to do it because you don’t feel like you can do it.