I have worked with almost every client of mine to address an across-the-board challenge – the challenge of spending time with those who are going to encourage them in their growth.

The people with whom you spend the most are in your “core” — they are the main relationships in your life. Jim Rohn is famous for saying that we become the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. I say these five people make up your core. Like Michael Dell and Confucius have said, if you find yourself the smartest in the room, then you’re in the wrong room.

Here are three ways to surround yourself with the right people – the people who will help you be the best you can be:

1. Write down the five people with whom you spend the most time. Ask yourself, “Are these people encouraging me? Are they optimistic? Are they aware of my plans and my goals, and are they helping me get there?” If not, intentionally start spending more time with a different group of people – people who would yield a “yes” to the above questions.

2. Join or create a Mastermind Group. This is a collection of people who are similarly-minded, have growth orientation and meet up at least once a month – they work together to help each other throughout life.

3. Find a non-profit whose work you love – start volunteering, and aim for volunteer leadership positions. Work up to eventually serve on the board of this organization- this will not only help you grow in generosity and serve others, but it will position you around other growth-minded, loving people – people who you could add to your core.

-Coach Brett Blair

Full Transcript:

Hey there, Brett Blair with Best Life Global, and we here at the Best Life Movement have two goals in mind.

Number one is that we each individually wanna live our best lives, and number two, we wanna help other people do the same thing.

And as a coach, part of what I do when I work with people is help them navigate from wherever they find themselves in life to their specific goals. Often times, they’re business related goals or they’re financial goals, or relationship, or marriage, or health goals, whatever they are, we get on a pathway of improvement and as a coach, I help them achieve those goals faster than they would by themselves.

And I think in every case with every client, there’s been a similar challenge of helping our clients understand how important it is that they pay attention to the people they spend their time with. The people that you spend the most time with are the people that are in your core, and I like to, like, draw a circle and identify, who are those people inside that thing called your core.

Jim Rohn is famous for saying that we become the average of the five people that we spend the most time with, and then Michael Dell and Confucius have both said, basically, if you find yourself the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room. And the point’s the same that we wanna hang around people and be influenced by people who will help us grow in all kinds of different ways.

I have three recommendations for you on this idea of, how do you get around the right people to help you grow?

Number one is, write down a list of the five people that you spend the most time with. Like, look back over the past month and really think about it, and who are those people? Write down those names, and don’t include your kids and don’t include your wife or your husband, but everybody else, include them.

Are those people encouraging you? Are they optimistic people? Are they aware of your plans and your goals, and are they helping you get there? Or, are they negative and discouraging and holding you back?

I don’t know if you’re like me, but I know I used to not really think about this and I would just spend time with my neighbors or old high school friends, or college buddies, or some family members, and just sorta hang out, but I wasn’t intentional about
who I was spending time with, and I’ve changed all that, and now I’m very intentional about it.

So, number one is write down that list of people and identify who they are, and are they encouraging your growth or not? And if they’re not, then get about a plan to very quietly, don’t tell them you’re doing it, but quietly move away spending time with some people and replace those with other people who will encourage your growth.

Which leads me to my second recommendation, and that is either join or create a mastermind group. And a mastermind group is just a collection of people who are similarly-minded and have a growth orientation who get together, let’s say, once a month and just help each other through life.

And if you’re not sure how to create a mastermind group, then get Napoleon Hill’s
book, “Think and Grow Rich,” and there’s an entire chapter written on this topic of the mastermind group.

And number three, and I’ve done this in my own life and I’ve encouraged it in my coaching clients and it almost always works, find a non-profit organization in your community and get involved, and make sure it’s a non-profit organization that is focused on an area that you have interest in, whether it’s homelessness or hunger, or education, or the environment, or whatever it is, pick it and get involved, first, maybe as a volunteer, and then join a committee and maybe lead a committee, and eventually, see if you can find yourself on the board of that organization.

And I promise you that the other people that are doing the same kinda thing, and eventually those that end up on the board, are growth-minded, probably positive, optimistic, encouraging people who have a similar orientation towards an interest that you have.

And that will not only help you grow as a person, but it will also help you grow in generosity of doing good in the community.

If you’ll do those three things, write down a list of people you’re spending your time with and try to modify that so you’re hanging out with people who help you grow, join a mastermind group, and join a non-profit organization, I promise you that your life will start to unfold in beautiful ways and you will find yourself moving more quickly on that path, and eventually living out your best life.

I hope that helps. We’ll talk to your later.